Who is? I am that is who. Why?...
Firstly the house is a buzz just the moment, Easter Hols means that both the kids (kids!? one of them is 20 later in the year!) are at home without school worries for one. My son has turned his bedroom instantly into a Physic students paradise... i.e. it looks a tip! His desk is strewn with books, papers etc. No idea what he is working on at the moment but he at least posted on Facebook that he made some progress yesterday. He is also busy catching up with his old mates whilst he/they are back from uni. I've not sold him on Planet Rock yet which is my latest rave to have playing in the kitchen... normally as things like Yes are followed by Bad Company etc. is to say... "Jeez Dad this is like your old vinyl collection". The battle to keep it on that station and not Radio 1 or Kiss is a constant one with my daughter. Having her off school has great benefits... namely peanut cookies!!! Lemon Meringue pie!! Mrs F is busy spring cleaning as well - all the net curtains look sparkling now. I ought to get out and weed the gardens tomorrow I think.
So after the momentary panic I posted about earlier in the week I've settled down a bit. The bottom line is no matter how well paid the job has been I've run my run in it, I need a change, a new challenge a chance to move forward. I saw Suburbia's post about whether anyones life pans out the way they plan. Made me think - I commented to her post with the following...
I jumped out of bed at about 4 and half as a I started school and said...
"Mummy - I'm going to be a nightmare teenager pretty much realising too late I've screwed up my A-levels, I'm going to flunk out of one college course, try to get a job and get onto another... I'll then become a software engineer, a database administrator, project manager, portfolio manager, support director and then a service delivery manager. I'll get married in my early 20s to a girl I'll meet at school and we'll have a boy and girl. Oh yes I'll also be a raging alcoholic for 25 years of my life..."
Right - it was never like that, at 8 I wanted to be fighter pilot and fly a Lightning in the RAF. Then for many years I was going to be the new Jimi Hendrix, Jimmy Page etc. then briefly in my teens I was going to be an MP and change the world... Right!
So now I'm 48 and it's fair to say most of those options are gone... how much is a deposit to stand as an MP? However whether my childhood/younger dreams have not been fulfilled look at everything else. I have a very good life, a terrific family and feel very privileged to live where and when I do.
I've done a "financial audit" and organised meetings with the financial advisor the company gives us two free consultations with before my redundancy comes through. I've also got a consultation with the outplacement folks and that is the start of a 6 month programme which the company again pay for... how unbelievable is that. So a more positive outlook - embrace the new and unknown live in the here and now and work on identifying opportunities for the future not closing my mind off to suggestions.
I need to work on this attitude and not the usual crash back into panic and closed mindedness that often follows for me.
Side note... just listening to Supertamp Crime of the Century from 1974 - great album. Great line "lend me 15p I'm dying for a smoke"... 15p!!!! Players No6 no doubt :-)