Thursday, 9 July 2009

How did I get here?

This month I'll have been married 24 years. Next month my son will be 19. Later this year I'll be 47 and my daughter 14.

Sorry! I am my Dad and he'll have been gone 25 years this October, that's more than half my life I've been without my Dad! No that's a whole other post... or a whole blog... or lots of counselling. Briefly I have spent a lot of time regretting and over compensating that I could never show my Dad that I could be a success in life.

Over the next few years we hit many big milestones. Next year obviously is our silver wedding anniversary. I'll have a son who will be in his 20s! The year after he'll be 21 and my Daughter will be 16! Then the year after that I'll be 50!!! (running out of !'s you know)

Somewhere along the line I went to sleep a teenager and woke up a middleaged "responsible" adult. Problem is I don't often feel like one in some ways I often feel like the teenager - you should have seen my son and I at the London Music Show. Difficult to know who was the more excited at times - I must have dragged him back to the Rob Williams stand 5 times!

What is growing up? What is grown up? Do people knowingly transition from various stages of their lives or does it just happen and then you suddenly realise that you've moved on? Seems to me my life is somewhat the latter version really.

Not that it's really a problem - acceptance is the key, accept who and where I am is the key and realising that some magic something will happen and that it'll all seem sorted out just isn't going to happen. As M Scott Peck points out... "Life is difficult".


  1. Aye, as long as you're still on the lookout for a little bit of magic, you'll never grow old.


    p.s. wrod vrecificatoin: helish. I kid you not!

  2. I still don't want to grow up! It is only the outside that ages I think. Life grinds you down sometimes but basically, underneath it all, it's great if you can still find a little bit of teenager in you. Sounds like you have / did with your son. Aren't we lucky sometimes? :)

  3. According to my blog feed you had 193 posts I hadn't read! It's only 2 so I'll get down to reading those now.

  4. I think growing up is very much an attitude. Some people are grown up at 18; others never grow up or acept responsibility. I hope I'm halfway between that in that i can be mature but I am very silly as well!

    There's that saying you see on t-shirts and magnets etc
    Growing old is compulsory.
    Growing up is optional.

  5. my 24 yo daughter is now living with me..
    Ive never felt so old in my life..
    it helps that she's constantly pointing out how old i am ..

    I hate kids

  6. I think if people are really honest with themselves, they will find they feel no different inside than they did as a teen...that's my excuse why I'm still about 15 mentally...

  7. You and me both mate. Still, live the dream eh?