Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Getting Stressy

I’ve had a day or so of feeling really stressed out. I often write my blog entry whilst supping my morning coffee… today is no different but I’m reflecting as I often do at this period in the day over the last 24/48 hours. Hmm…not my best.

Work is work isn’t it. Why do we work? To earn money put simply, I need to pay for the things I want therefore I do a job to do that. After that though it gets very complicated because for many of us the job is a part of us that is important, there is a status associated with it. You want to do well for your own self-esteem and value, you want to do something that you feel adds something. To be honest it’s all a bit tricky that especially in the modern cut and thrust of the world we live in.

So I’m letting work get too important in my life and affect me too much. I had some interactions with the family last night that on reflection I’m not proud of and reacted to some little things in a stupid way. Why? Because I feel under pressure and stressed about work – all this culminated with a very bad nights sleep that doesn’t help today as I don’t feel too great as a result of probably no more than 3 hours solid sleep last night and much turning and tossing.

What really matters in life? A recurring theme really on this blog. Life that is what matters. So I sit here at my little desk in my little corner of the world, that alone is mind bogglingly big – how long would it take me to walk from here to Scotland? Then all the people in the world billions of them… I’m just one. There are thousands and thousands of employees just in my company I’m just a little cog in the machinery of that enterprise. So I need to breath in and take stock, getting stressy with my family because I couldn’t figure out a spreadsheet at work is so dumb it’s unbelievable. I blame lack of time etc. but that is lame I have total control over my time, ok there are parameters like they won’t pay me if I don’t turn up but I have a lot of control if I exercise it. But it shouldn’t all be about me it should be about the bit that I play in the world which small as it may be perhaps it can have some good.

So to reflect then on the positives. This morning I’ve done much better with the spreadsheet hell I’m in, “First things First”, just do the basics first don’t solve the whole problem in one go – obvious but I need reminding. Last night I gave 3 others lifts home after the AA meeting, one of who had just been given a secondhand baby buggy by another member. I did think as I helped her unload it from my boot that someone would see me helping get this pram out for a pregnant woman and come to completely the wrong conclusion. Anyway the AA “bus” made it’s various drop offs along the A2 I can reflect that I at least in some small way helped those people out. Also I bid and won a little ornament for my daughter of eBay to add to her collection. See that is what really matters and should make me smile not frown. Today is a non-frown day from now on.

10 comments:

  1. I feel for you. Hardly any sleep and stress at work is bound to make you snappy, no one is perfect, most of us react similarly under pressure. Be kind to yourself.

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  2. Unfortunately we all handle life's stresses differently.

    Sounds like you're getting the right idea. I hope your up-coming HOLIDAY gives you the peace you seek from the daily grind.

    Please e-mail me with the details of the trip. I can assure you we will be flu-less and if we can get a chance to meet, that would be fantastic. A small dose of Boston history is just what you need.

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  3. I know how you feel about work. I keep thinking that I’m way too old to get stressed out about the workplace. My girlfriend says ‘Leave all the work stuff at the door as you leave.’

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  4. I don't know anyone who enjoys work anymore... Call me weird, but I did for a while, but with endless scrimping and saving, cuts here cuts there, complete disregard from management, and just relentless preasure, I hate itlike nothing else now. But as you say, it pays the bills.

    When i went back to work after my holiday (3 weeks today), i was told i had to park ALL my work, even the mega urgent stuff, because there was some new megga urgent stuff... i've done nothing but that for 3 solid weeks. Today, as i'm just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, i was pulled off the megga rgent stuff, to do megga megga urgent stuff!! All my 'proper' work remains untouched, all missing deadlines, and of course all 'not met' in the end of year review!!

    P

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  5. sometimes I think it's just me or my situation ... it isn't is it.

    So do you think that this can carry on? Will we all just keep sucking it up or will we all start to slowly say "to hell with this" and slowly unwind from the faster, faster, faster capitalist system.

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  6. Always look on the bright side of life, tra la, tra la tra la tra la.

    Your family loves you, we love you and God loves you.

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  7. God's got chuff all to do with it and anybody that thinks this is barking up the wrong tree. You are born into this world with chuff all and it's up to you to make your way in the world mate. How you measure your mark in it depends upon your view on it. My own feeling though, after wasting much of my life, is you only have yourself to blame for your own failings. You are always whinging about one thing or another (I mean this respectfully) and I put this down to the side affect of your addiction. But sometimes you just have to shit or get off the pot. But I fear this will fall on deaf ears. Life is what you make it mate. Nobody else is going to wipe your ass for you. Stop complaining. Get some happy juice flowing. Either that or smoke some weed. Hmmm... maybe not. But whatever you do - do something!

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  8. The God thing is all about where your faith is... or isn't. In fact not having a faith might leave you worse off, my limited understanding of Einsteins theories on time is that is must all already have happened and we are just threading a route through - which begs the question if science says it's all predetermined should we bother to try to do anything as whatever will be ... will be... and of philosophy class :-)

    Yes I am "always whinging" it's my predisposition - it is how I'm wired up is that a side effect of the addiction or the cause of the addiction - or is it the whole point of the addiction... don't know.

    Part of the whole point of this is the cathartic remedy that it does get me to focus on the positives, on the good things in my life etc. And the big question is - do I need to do anything? Shouldn't I just try to be happy where I am being as actually that is bloody good and really I am happy... when I choose to be.

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  9. Good. Let's see how long we can all keep the balls in the air. I'm fed up with being miserable.

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  10. "Is this it?"
    I say this often to the air if to no one in particular.

    What's my purpose am I to do or be more than what I am. My fear is the answer is yes if I feel the need to ask it ;)
    Now, how to become it and what am I to become?

    I feel that if this economy doesn't turn around tho that yes, people are gonna start crumbling. Its too much to ask of one person to take over the task of 10 in an effort to save $. Families suffer health suffers and eventually the work suffers.

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