I’ve had a day or so of feeling really stressed out. I often write my blog entry whilst supping my morning coffee… today is no different but I’m reflecting as I often do at this period in the day over the last 24/48 hours. Hmm…not my best.
Work is work isn’t it. Why do we work? To earn money put simply, I need to pay for the things I want therefore I do a job to do that. After that though it gets very complicated because for many of us the job is a part of us that is important, there is a status associated with it. You want to do well for your own self-esteem and value, you want to do something that you feel adds something. To be honest it’s all a bit tricky that especially in the modern cut and thrust of the world we live in.
So I’m letting work get too important in my life and affect me too much. I had some interactions with the family last night that on reflection I’m not proud of and reacted to some little things in a stupid way. Why? Because I feel under pressure and stressed about work – all this culminated with a very bad nights sleep that doesn’t help today as I don’t feel too great as a result of probably no more than 3 hours solid sleep last night and much turning and tossing.
What really matters in life? A recurring theme really on this blog. Life that is what matters. So I sit here at my little desk in my little corner of the world, that alone is mind bogglingly big – how long would it take me to walk from here to Scotland? Then all the people in the world billions of them… I’m just one. There are thousands and thousands of employees just in my company I’m just a little cog in the machinery of that enterprise. So I need to breath in and take stock, getting stressy with my family because I couldn’t figure out a spreadsheet at work is so dumb it’s unbelievable. I blame lack of time etc. but that is lame I have total control over my time, ok there are parameters like they won’t pay me if I don’t turn up but I have a lot of control if I exercise it. But it shouldn’t all be about me it should be about the bit that I play in the world which small as it may be perhaps it can have some good.
So to reflect then on the positives. This morning I’ve done much better with the spreadsheet hell I’m in, “First things First”, just do the basics first don’t solve the whole problem in one go – obvious but I need reminding. Last night I gave 3 others lifts home after the AA meeting, one of who had just been given a secondhand baby buggy by another member. I did think as I helped her unload it from my boot that someone would see me helping get this pram out for a pregnant woman and come to completely the wrong conclusion. Anyway the AA “bus” made it’s various drop offs along the A2 I can reflect that I at least in some small way helped those people out. Also I bid and won a little ornament for my daughter of eBay to add to her collection. See that is what really matters and should make me smile not frown. Today is a non-frown day from now on.