I was reading Chapter 4 We Agnostics of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. This was prompted by part of that chapter being used as a speakers reading at one of my regular meetings this week.
Truth be told the "God" part of the programme of AA has been one of my biggest issues but the spiritual issues are central to the core of the programme and recovery. I was drawn back to this chapter as part of a "is all well with my conception of a power greater than myself" checkover. It is good - I won't go into I remember going on about it on my previous blog once before about my concept of a God or whatever shorthand you want to call it, I don't have a traditional religious view lets just say that.
There is one bit at the back end of the chapter that I like a lot. "Who are you to say there is no God?" That was a revelation to me some time back, see I had until then had the answer to everything - or so I thought but the acceptance that just quiet possibly I know jack s**t made me stop and reassess. It still does today if I doubt at all, what really do I know about it at all. They announced the other day that someone had found a star 13billion light years away, like the sun is 8 light mins away. So 13 billion light years, how can anyone comprehend that in a brain the size of mine? To quote Douglas Adams... "Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."
I also subsequently mused on the struggle I had in rehab trying to "find my higher power". I went all nature and connectedness of stuff like... very hippy. However one counsellor pointed to my guitar playing and talked about that. I didn't get it then at all but re-reading this chapter and Appendix 2 about Spiritual Experience made me re-evaluate this week.
Music moves me dramatically. It evokes emotions, memories, thoughts, passions, desire, euphoria when I hear certain things, it can also make me melancholy, reflective, sad. Where does music come from? Logically it's just a set of sound waves in the air, the instruments or voices etc. creating it just happen to fit to some conventions we as humans have imposed on the waves to create what we call tone, tune, dynamics, rhythm etc. It's all Maths and Physics at the end of it really. All well and good, so anyone can create and make great music as you just follow a bunch of rules then? Err... no it's not like that is it? Because what I think is great others won't and vice versa despite the imposition of the rules imposed by us on it.
Maybe music is the voice of my God... or at least the echo of it that is tangible in our universe.
(pass another joss stick...) :-)