Thursday, 19 January 2012

Avoidance and Procrastination

(Inspired by another persons honest post on their blog.)

Honestly one of my major problems.  I avoid things that I don't want to do, or am not sure of how to do, or will make me feel bad in some way.  I avoided recontacting the bus company about the refund we were due after the great bus ticket scandal I blogged about last year.  Why?  Because I knew it'd bring back the anger and I don't like that feeling.  I did email them, with no response and in the end the ever marvellous Mrs F called them, twice, and we finally got a cheque for all of £6.70... but no apology!

I'm bad at it at work at the moment.  I'm giving myself all the excuses under the sun... "I'm new to the organisation and don't know who to contact"... well ask someone dummy!  But then I'll possibly look daft... etc.  Also the reorganisation of the division is not complete and I am not totally fully in post.  So I use that as another excuse.   But they are excuses I'm just avoiding it and putting it off etc.

Then of course once you've put something off for one day the next day seems easier etc.  But then when it gets that you have to do something when you then ask the question you know you need to ask you realise that people have the thought... "Why didn't you ask that x days ago?"   Well you don't realise that you perceive it as you are beating yourself up with that in your head and your reality is their reality isn't it?

Now in the old days alcohol was a great cover for this stuff.  Firstly it gave me the "Dutch courage" to take on some of the things I was fearful of as with the alcohol in your bloodstream you brain begins to tell you that you are invincible and all these doubts and fears are just nonsense and secondly it is a great way of bludgeoning to death the feelings anyway so that you are numb to them.

So I dithered over hitting the big orangey Publish button highlighted at the top of the page at the moment on this one - why?  Because I don't like to admit weakness and also if I come clean on here and say all this it'll mean I ought really to "accept the things I cannot change and have the courage to change what I can" ... which in this case is actually quiet a bit.


  1. You might like this book...

  2. Well done hitting the Publish button.
    I just popped into the school and dentist . . . both things I had been putting off "till after Christmas". I think we can safely say Christmas is over.
    Now I have to admit that I was out in the car with Mum (driving me to drugs worker) . . . and she parked outside the school then the dentist and "suggested" that I go and sort it. Hmmmm Mothers eh?
    So I can't even take the credit for "facing these things"
    O well, well done you. Take care.

  3. Good luck... change is not easy. :-)

  4. A big Pixie smile for your honest post. And the nice thing is you are being honest about the things we all do at some point or another.

    I have always thought that admitting weakness was a sign of strength, and feigning strength a sign of weakness.

    I am so pleased you hit the orangey button, and proud of you.

    :-) P x

  5. You're human.
    We all look daft sometimes.
    I'm glad you posted this. :)

  6. I never really thought about why I procrastinate, but fear sure is the root behind much of it. When I finally do an unpleasant task, I often wonder why I put it off so long b/c it's never as bad as I build up in my mind. And yet next time I put it off again and use many valid sounding excuses.

    Now we know we can't be perfect, but this seems a self-destructive habit that would be so rewarding to kick. You're absolutely right that we can change it, and I hope we both will. Good luck, thanks so much for this post.

  7. guilty as charged here too, my friend...

    I hesitate, procrastinate, all the above lol. Sometimes it gets me into trouble, sometimes not so much. As for you and your post, I am a firm believer that a problem shared is a problem cut in half. Perhaps after seeing your thoughts (and shortcomings) in print, you'll realize its not as impossible a thing to overcome as you might have beeen thinking. All it taes is an effort to do better, one day at a time. Over time you'll be wuite amazed at your progress if you stick with it and don't procrastinate ;-)

    Be well and thanks for coming by for a visit!

  8. We had a cheque returned in work today and I had to contact the person whose cheque it was and say, 'give us your money again - plus the £2.50 bank charge'. You'd have been proud of me: I phoned! And, yay, got an answering machine so could leave a message so now I can say I've tried!