I've not posted anything for a week or more...
to be honest I've not been in a good space, I'm still not. Physically the vertigo has got better but I've another problem now that I've got to get looked at.
Work, stress, fear, failure, stress, fear, failure, work... that is the sort of cycle at the moment. I've blogged about work on here before and it's come back to bite me but what the hell it's where I am at the moment. I feel completely at sea at work currently, very swamped and stressed and not sure on half of what I am suppose to be doing what I am supposed to be doing and then feeling there is a ton and a half of other stuff I'm not doing that I probably ought to be doing and especially in the area of all the process improvement stuff that I'm involved with that there is little point as frankly that is trying to mimic Canute in the chair by the seaside!
It has really got me very down. Last year about this time I was depressed as well, it was then I thought because my son was off to uni for the first time. Is it that he is back there at the end of this week? I think it is more this time but interesting that it is a similar time of year which is also as my birthday approaches although honestly I'm not dwelling on that at all consciously, maybe it is a sub-conscious thing I don't know.
I do feel like I'm a hamster trapped on a wheel at the moment - funny analogy that as the Furtheron house has the sound of tiny feet again... i.e. we have two new little pet hamsters that are my daughters. But also I know I'm doing appallingly at breaking out and doing anything about it and the reason behind that is fear, fear of failure, fear of making a mistake, fear of looking an idiot etc.
The tool box where is it?
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference"
The 12 steps
The Just for Today card
funny I have all these things but find it bloody hard to execute on them.