Thursday, 24 September 2009

Doctors, pills and not getting stuff done

The car crash that is my well being at the moment continues to run its course.

I basically have had a few bloody awful days. Friday I felt like shit all day - hugely stressed and feeling very inadequate. Saturday was better although I felt a bit unsteady on my feet at times. Also in the middle of preparing a curry for everyone I had a sudden real nasty tightening pain across my chest. Now I've had chest pain for a while and in good old male style just brush it off as indigestion etc. Sunday was a reasonably good day although I did veg in front of the TV for a lot of it watching motorracing. Monday not so bad apart from again one of those real painful crabs across the chest. I mentioned it to the family and consensus was that I ought to seek medical help. But then Tuesday and Wednesday weren't good mentally. The overwhelming anxiety that I've had briefly took complete control and and really did my head in. Even the simplest story on the news that had nothing to do with me would bring on a wave of hopelessness. I went off sick from work on Wed.

So I've seen the doc and yep obviously all the symptoms are anxiety disorder, panic attacks leading to possible mild heart attacks. So I've been prescribed beta blockers and given some advice - advice I already know. Deal slowly with one thing at a time, ignore all others. Relax. Laugh more. Exercise more and gently, not the bull in a china store mentality I've been known to show in the past.

Ever onwards... or not


  1. Get a bike. I have. Oh yeah, and remember to play your guitar for pleasure. It'll relax you. Try not to view the guitar as a threat to your intellect. Pick one up, strum it, make some nice sounds with it and then put it down and forget it. Repeat daily. Feel good. I have even chosed to give up playign guitar in a live setting so as to concentrate more on singing. This gives me far greater pleasure. Guitars are nothing but tools. Enjoy them. Get in to what's on offer over at my site and chill out more with an iPod thing. Read some more. Drink less coffee. Take up a fad diet. Just relax man. It's very easy to do. Have a great weekend.

  2. Sounds like me at my last job. No choice but to stay and deal with it but not equipped to handle working under such adverse conditions.

    Try to recognise that this is a temporarily situation and will change eventually. Steer the smoothest path.

    And remember to take pleasure, relaxation and fun where you can. You're not a machine, you're a person.

  3. Just been reading your older posts, sorry to hear about your continuing vertigo problems. I was diagnosed with Meniere's disease in my right ear 11 years ago and still suffer from tinnitus in that ear which comes and goes, some days are worse than others.
    After my series of vertigo episodes I cut down on caffeine and reduced my salt intake and haven't had any attacks since although Mrs Druid makes me wear an SOS Talisman bracelet in case I fall over in the street. I also carry a medic alert card in my wallet listing my condition and possible symptoms together with family phone numbers.

  4. You won me over with the "UFO Strangers In The Night is the best live album ever.." comment. Also, when Wil rents a car he rents a beast also. Nothing like a Mercury Grand Marquis, it's like driving a couch.


  5. I can relate. I feel for ya man. Best thing for me when it seems the world is spinning out of control? Read. Peace and quiet with a good book is one of the sure fire ways I can think of to get out of my head and just be. Hope things take a turn for the better...

  6. sounds like you could do with a nice relaxing break... i've made the mistake of taking a holiday at times like this, but that too is stressful. A nice week in a cottage, somewhere out in the stix, doing nothing is a great calmer. Helps to refocus and relax. Of course, everything is still the same at work when you get back, but sometimes it can help to not let it get to you quite so much.

    Tough one mate.


  7. you do too much. Think about it. Work, home, kids, AA commitments. I'm not saying stop, but I don't think you do enough for you. You are too busy trying to be the perfect husband, Dad, friend, colleague..... You are not putting yourself first and you need to.

    You need to say 'sod it' and spend some time doing something you love. Play something just because you can and its something you love to do.

    And cut down on tea and kit kats.

  8. You know me too well Anon... is it physically possible to cut down on the kit kats?

  9. Are you on pills for the anxiety too? They changed my life! And it sounds as though you are well past the coping by just following advice stage. Are you having proper heart checks? It seems a bit strange to just give you beta-blockers and say it was possibly mild heart attacks. Oh dear, am i worrying you? Giving you pains in the chest?! I'm sorry; I don't mean it to sound as if I'm making light of it. I know the agony of anxiety only too well. As I say, seroxat saved my life.

    I tell you what will cheer you up: yours is the first blog I have visited since I came back from hols. There, does that make you feel loved?!!