So I sat down to work today and was faced with a bunch of the usual nonsense... the confused and bewildered going round in corporate ever decreasing circles. It riled me. I had to stop and ask why I'm angry about it - to be honest it is just the normality of work these days, everybody means well and are all trying to do their best I just seem to see it all as a set of circles that either benignly never intersect, very rarely to combine successfully or sometimes just smash into each other with various degrees of force and damage to those in those circles.
So given that gratitude was a strong theme at an AA meeting I attended last night I'm working on my gratitude to placate the rising anger.
Yesterday I spoke with a couple of people I've not caught up with for a while. One is having a really stressful time, her Mum is in her 80s and had a hip replacement but then got some viral issue, lost loads of weight and has been very ill. Also in her family a lady was stung by a wasp had a reaction and died in a few hours, another young lady has been ill with something caught abroad and is still in intensive care although making some progress now. Just how much bad crap can one person have? Through it all though she was still smiling and being positive.
Later I talked to another friend and their mother had suddenly passed away. That had a lot of complications in their family as well with broken relationships etc. that still can't be easily fixed even at this time. However again this person who is only recently sober has not taken a drink at all despite trying to cope with an emotional rollercoaster.
I'm so grateful that I'm not at this time in either of those peoples position. Also though I am grateful for their teaching. One is not an alcoholic but her positivity and just "you have to get on with it" approach is inspiring. The newcomer not picking up a drink in the depths of this sad time is to me massively inspiring.
So I'm off to up date my gratitude list with renewed vigour - since I know very well this issue with work will clearly now soon pass and also at some point I'll again face the trials similar to these two friends and then I need to remember the times it was not like that and that those times will too pass and most importantly for me there is no excuse big enough, no reason to bad for me to consider taking a drink and starting the spiral down again.
I'd just posted this and updated my graditude list and settle back to answering emails etc. I decided to make a coffee and my son came down and started on about how he is watching the live data feed of the first 3.5 TerV collision in the LHC at CERN. I laughed at that - but how lucky am I to have kids like that! He claims thi is as momentous as when man first walked on the moon. What do I know? He is probably right. And then I sit down, the rains stopped and all the birds seem to have started singing at once. All is great in the world... now for the next daft email :-0