Guitars and Life

Another blogger sparked off something in me that has really got me thinking... So here I am in the "new" job...  I've put the quotes there as actually I've been here over 10 months now and rapidly it'll be a year so is it still "new"?  It feels it to me.  And there in lies a crux of issues that have been assailing me of late. Let me throw a bunch of things at you... culture, complexity, change, commitment, belonging... A little history lesson.  I worked at the same place from 1991 - 2010 until I was made redundant, something I was happy about at the time, that old place was on a downward spiral and my mojo had decidedly left me and I found myself regularly the harbinger of bad tidings "We tried that three times before and it failed due to a, b, c etc.".   I needed to get out and get a change.  After 7 months not working I got a job with a small consultancy firm - I didn't mind the work and the fact that as a consultant you go into somewh...

I was reminded at a meeting recently how fortunate my life has been.  Despite my years of drinking I remained what many call "a functioning drunk", i.e. I got up every morning, got dressed and got to work.  I did enough at work not to get sacked and therefore the money continued to come in.  In fact I was very fortunate that I was in an industry and a job that paid very well indeed and therefore the money I needed to feed my habit wasn't difficult to find, I could drink enough and not have to squirrel money away for that from the bills, the shopping etc.  I was lucky too that I found recovery before I started to lose the things that really matter - family in particular. Others tell stories of true horror, of ending up in places and conditions I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like to have to live day in day out like that.  It is vitally important that I listen to these people, "listen to the similarities not the differences" they say.  I do, and I...

This post was inspired by a post by Suburbia... Back in the old days I used to drink. Seems like very old days now, I'm about 2 weeks off hitting 6 years sobriety - amazing! You know I look back sometimes and it's almost like watching an old movie with some bloke I used to vaguely know in it. Odd. True though that I do feel at times very disconnected from that old persona of mine. Here's one little example. Back in the old days when I used to drink I often used to say "I love you" to my wife. However just as often and I think on occasions more than I'd say that I'd say "Do you love me?" . Early on as I was sobering up I realised how dumb this was. Why did I need to keep asking? Insecurity; obviously but also because the relationship was all about me not about her and not about a partnership of love. I had blinding flash one day - well sort of - which was all I could do was love her and hope that the love was reciprocated but if not there is not...