Monday, 15 April 2013

Irrational fear

Spend any time around a bunch of recovering alcoholics and there are a series of themes that come out. Within that series of themes (I should write a blog post on my reflections on those themes at some point) one that often comes through is fear.

Fear of being made to look a fool
Fear of economic insecurity
Fear of emotional insecurity - i.e. those you love leaving you.
Fear of being found out as a fraud
etc.

One thing though is the irrational fear - the fear of nothing but fear itself.  I woke up this morning fearful.  What of I really have no idea, maybe I had had a dream that was lost to my consciousness that caused this I really don't know.

Now what is the best reaction to this?  Look at the facts.  I can't place what this fear is about, it probably is just a stupid dream I've already forgotten, I was alright last night when I went to bed and nothing has changed ... so put if out of my mind and ignore it.

Not the alcoholic part of me - it spent far too much of my brain power today trying to rationalise the fear with some event.  Hopeless - so I've had to restart the day, try to back off my brain cycles and go back to that basic point... there is nothing to fear but the fear itself.   I'm feeling better already...

7 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear that.
    My son seems to be going through the same thing at the moment... I am at a loss as to how to help him.
    Hope things get better for you soon,

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  2. What a great reflection. I admire your ability to put the fear behind you so quickly. To put your mind at ease so soon. That's beautiful, Futheron.

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  3. I kind of wish we alcoholics could focus more on courage than on fear. Fear is useful if we don't let it ruin us.

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  4. Not to steal any of your post thunder but it's perfectly normal to entertain a sense of dread for no discernible reason. It's part of the human condition.

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  5. I sometimes get that irrational fear thing happening, and early on in my recovery I would do my best to attach it to something, as you said so well. But I didn't always succeed and that brought me feelings of failure...something I certainly didn't need. So when I get these fears out of left field, I just sit with them a bit and then let them be. Sort of like those irrational thoughts we get and we observe and let go as well. if something comes up later in the day with the fear, no problems, I don't mind looking at it. If it dissipates, then that too is ok. I guess it depends on the overall condition and feeling.

    Great post!

    Paul

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  6. I sometimes wake up feeling fearful too, and many a day I am waiting for the object of my fear to reveal itself.

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