Over and out

So that is that. I spent today deleting everything off my laptop, handing back my blackberry, credit cards etc. and shaking a good number of people's hands as I finally left the company.

Very odd feeling. I'm happy to go as I've not been satisfied in work for a while but suddenly something that has been such a huge part of my life for so long won't be there any more. That is really really odd. It'll take some time for me to stop thinking things like "I must mention to ...", "I wonder if so and so did..." etc.

I was again very touched by some of the parting comments from people. I often struggle with self image, see I see myself as this person who just pretty much bumbles through life hoping to not do too much damage and maybe help out somewhere along the line. To have people compliment me is frankly a bit painful - I cringe inside thinking but this could be better, or if only you knew how I felt about that inside etc.

I had a coffee with the boss on my site of our department - he used to be my direct boss and a friend over some years. He has been dealing with the local stuff around my departure since I reported directly into a boss in the USA. Anyway he talked about another guy who left a while back and I really related to what that person had said to him that he felt for a long time he was simply drawing a salary not earning it. I completely understood what he meant and how it had left him very unsatisfied. You can be paid very well and be doing a job that has few new challenges but it does leave you feeling a fraud - even if you are very busy.

However onwards and upwards (or sideways and down in my self view of my life :-)) and I know it is overdue for me to move on to something else. I'm very lucky that I'm in the position to actually take a break for a while and be able to look at some options for the next step - or leap in career. So for a while some time with the family before anything new.