Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Drinking Dreams

I've had two recent drinking dreams.

They disturb me.  I know many alcoholics in recovery have these happen.  The latest two have had similarities and are different from older ones.

First one I was somewhere and I knew I was drinking - I was discussing in my head the issue of having started again, I was drinking lager and considering this "ok" but was concerned I'd progress to other drinks.

The second one I was in an odd bar/pub.  It was a huge oval bar with people sat it - not unlike some bars I used to visit in the USA.  I was pushing myself back from the bar to distance myself.  Not sure I was drinking in the second one but was concerned about it - I was in the place to drink there seemed no other reason to be there.

So two within a week - something is going on in my head.  I'm still trying to figure out my new way of working, now faced with only being in the office 2 days a week I'm stressed about getting done what I need to get done in that time, but the rest of life stuff seems to be growing to engulf the rest of the time!

Who knows?  Often best to just sit with these things until a reason slowly emerges from the thoughts.

5 comments:

  1. I think you put your finger on it. Prior to drinking dreams, I used to dream that I would wake up next to my ex-husband (to whom I was married for 2.5 years at the tender age of 18) and I didn't know how I got there or where my current husband was. It would freak me out to say the least.

    I realized that I only had this dream when I was feeling out of control or going through some major changes in my life that had me anxious. Now when that happens it's a drinking dream (which is freaky but not nearly as freaky as the ex-husband thing...).

    From what you've shared, your life is changing in many ways when you consider both careers and kids so you probably owe yourself a few of these subconscious venting sessions.

    Hugs,
    Sherry

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  2. Dreams are very odd! I am terrified to think what a psychiatrist would make of mine!

    I'm sure it is your slight anxiety about the future causing you to seek an escape route (see? who needs a therapist when they've got me?) but it will be well!

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  3. Ugh, I hate drinking dreams. They always fill me with so much shame.

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  4. I am sure you;ll defy your tempting dreams...you are an amazingly strong gentleman :).

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  5. Drinking dreams used to terrify me. i used to run to my sponsor or a counselor or someone and blab on about that I might drink soon, etc. But as you mentioned, many of us get them. Regardless of time away from the bottle. I get them in bunches. Haven't had them for a while, which means that I am due soon :)

    The only thing I can say that is good about the dreams is that they are like a relapse (shame, horror, regret, anger, fear, guilt, etc.) but without the actual putting the booze down the throat. I wake up mortified and at the same time relieved.

    Yikes! Hope you get a quiet period now, Graham :)

    Blessings,
    Paul

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