Wednesday, 8 August 2012

It all seems to be 50... and what I am grateful for.

I turn 50 in just under 2 months.  But looking at the stats on the blog I have 50 followers, welcome to the 50th!  Also just gone through 50,000 page views.

I read a couple of blog posts about loneliness today.  Interesting isn't it that we live in a world where we can all stay connect much better than we ever used to - we were trying to explain to the kids how my wife and I kept in touch when we were courting... er we met each other!  We did luckily have phones at home, we got one when I was about 16 I think - honestly up until then I'd have to use the pay phone over the road on the little green.  But it is interesting that I think loneliness is on the increase despite all this.  My daughter have 100s of "friends" on Facebook and Twitter - but truth is she doesn't know hardly any of them.  On here many people read and comment and I have a blog roll I visit, people I find interesting or we have a common bound, sometimes music, often recovery. 

So what am I grateful for - my family for a start and my wife.  I'm never lonely as I have that basis for a start.  I have a load of friends in AA, I may not spend a lot of time with them socially outside the rooms (some do) but truly they are great friends. 

My wife has been organising a bit of a do for my impending 50th - in the end the venue moved from home to a pub she knows that has a function room.  There is a sense of irony that a recovering alcoholic has his do in a pub, but many of those coming can drink safely and sanely - although I almost guarantee the noisiest most boisterous lot will be the AA members there!  Anyway - the room has a capacity limit... near 50...  It is all 50 at the moment.

14 comments:

  1. Lovely post. Indeed it is strange to look back and remember how we kept in touch un the pre-internet/mobile phone days. Like most teenagers probably I'd spend all Saturday afternoon with a friend and then phone her within ten minutes of getting home - on the big old yellow phone in the kitchen with its dial and curly lead - and would have to contribute some of my pocket money to my parents' phone bill fund. And our phone number only had four digits!
    On the subject of loneliness - I've always been one for valuing *quality* over *quantity* when it comes to friends. I'm sure it's possible to still be lonely even with hundreds of people in your life, likewise I know that it only takes a few good ones to ensure you never feel too alone.

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    1. I remember a quote - no idea who it was but it was something like, "If a man gets to the end of his life with a handful of real friends then he has succeeded"...

      just tried to look it up and can't find it... maybe it was just something somebody said to me!

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  2. I think connecting is about intimacy and how deeply we connect with other people. We connect deeply with our family and friends and maybe even one or two people online. At work we simply associate with people out of necessity. At our meetings we connect with people from that shared and common bond and then sometimes that's where that commonality ends, we may not share any other similar traits so we don't connect on any other levels and we don't feel intimate with them.

    It's funny when we have something big going on in our lives it seems to be everywhere. When I bought my car, I never saw one before, then they were everywhere I turned! Now, I never see them anymore. Happy almost 50!!!

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  3. Happy approaching 50th, you young whippersnapper.

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  4. You're not thinking of leaving your lover are you?

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    1. Ha ha! no I have no thoughts like that at all. :-)

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  5. agree that for all of our connectivity, we are sometimes more isolated than ever. i get cranky when i see my friends out together, all looking at their phones, checking their facebook feeds, or sending texts to other people about how much fun their having.

    as for my blogmates? the cases where i've taken it to 'real life' have (with on glaring exception) been very comfortable. if you read my words, and i read yours - and we both write honestly - those connections can be incredibly strong. the 'in real life' meeting has been almost like "hey, good to see you again" even if it's the first time...

    happy pending 50th!

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  6. I'm just a few weeks behind you when it comes to turning 50...it does make you reflect, doesn't it? And your reflections sound like those of a man in a good place. I like that.

    I also a great one for 'quality not quantity' when it comes to friendships, and that continues to serve me well, though I'm still making new friends, much to my delight. And we tend to communicate best by hooking up for a face-to-face chat - the technology is useful for arranging things and exchanging the odd quick 'hello', but nothing beats sitting down and chewing the fat in person.

    Good luck with planning your Golden Birthday. You can be Golden Graham for the day (sorry)!

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  7. Happy birtrhday in advance. I agree entirely with the last two comments. If someone I'm out with starts digging around in a phone, I'll stop talking. It's effing rude!

    Re FB "friends", have you seen this cartoon (apparently from The Great Canadian Joke Book -- quite a slim volume I assume :) )

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  8. It's true. I see people who have maybe 600 Facebook friends and I think - how? Husband and I were talking the other day and agreeing that we neither of us have the sort of friends you see in 'Friends' or in other tv series. We just have each other. And that's enough for us.

    Fifty? A mere child.

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  9. In the last year, I've dropped twitter and barely check facebook anymore. Having all that easy communication feels right, but nothing about it feels very real, and I'm talking about my own posts as much as anyone else's. It's easier for me to stay in the moment with my real life, my family and face-to-face friends. Then I feel less lonely.

    Happy 50th to you!! Hope you have a wonderful time at your party. Sounds like great fun.

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  10. Shades of Grey? sorry, I coudn't resist that ;-)
    Good to be back, I missed you x

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    1. Ho ho. I'm way beyond 50 shades. In fact I was never there lol

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